Based on "A Red, Red Rose" by Robert Burns

O my Luve he likes his sheets askew

He’s not made them straight since June;
O my Luve likes bolsters tossed beaucoup

And left about the room.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lad,
So deep in luve am I
But thine unholy mess, it drives me mad

And often makes me cry

Till a’ the bedclothes are semi squared

And the pillows lined up neat

Till a’ the lumps have been repaired

This mantra I ‘ll repeat:

Slumber thee well, my only Luve
And rest thy handsome head!
The morn’ shall come again, my Luve,
Please make the fucking bed.